Motherhood

You didn’t expect being a mother to feel like this.

You knew it would be hard work. And while there are sweet moments and your child is totally worth it, you had no idea it would be this way.

Your previous life no longer fits and relationships are shifting. Everyone is used to coming to you when they have a problem, but now you’re feeling too distracted and depleted to listen. But you also long for intellectual stimulation.

Despite having an active social life before, getting out of the house can be a major project. In fact, you regret not asking your visitors to leave earlier because you missed your only window for getting things done or taking a nap. They were there to help, but now you feel worse.

The plethora of books, blogs and podcasts don’t make it any less overwhelming and confusing. It’s not clear who you should listen to and what you should actually worry about. It’s hard to hear your own intuition over all the noise.

Even though everything worked out in the end, you are still bothered by something that happened in your birth or afterwards that needs to be processed (x number of weeks/months/years later).

Instead of acknowledging your struggles, well-meaning relatives respond with advice that doesn’t fit or by saying “at least you have a healthy baby.”

You really want to lose the baby weight, strengthen your pelvic floor or address that now chronic ache in your back. You might even know what you “should” do for self-care, but you’re either too tired or it feels like another thing to manage.

You wonder why nobody told you that it would be this way. Or if it is because of something wrong with you.

It’s not you, it’s the culture.

Frankly, the culture is failing mothers. It does not adequately prepare is for what motherhood is really like and the support new parents need and deserve is not readily available. This is even more true for marginalized populations.

Birth and postpartum have been medicalized and mechanized without adequately addressing the psychological and practical needs that come with having a baby. We are exposed to a limited perspective on how things can be.

Meanwhile, experts disperse rules and advice which promote the illusion that there is a right way or that you must be doing something wrong if you are struggling. We are given the impression that we are the problem but the solutions lies outside of ourselves. That another method, another gadget will do the trick.

It can be hard not to compare yourself with images of celebrity moms, influencers (many of whom are surreptitiosly selling products) and your friend’s latest social media pics of their awesome family vacation to Mexico. It seems like everyone else is has it together when it’s actually normal to feel messy and uncertain at this time.

The real problem is with how we perceive ourselves as deficient and the false belief that we are supposed to either figure it all out on our own or follow the next best trend in mothering advice.

Almost every traditional culture has rituals of welcoming and support for new families. Mothers would be celebrated and cared for by the community and birth recognized as a profound rite of passage that needs to be integrated emotionally, physically and often, spiritually.

We did not evolve to parent (or thrive) in isolation and overwhelm is not meant to be a lifestyle. Feeling lonely, frustrated or insecure are not signs of anything wrong with you, and it’s totally possible to feel alone even when people are helping you.

They say it takes a village. So where is it?!

For those of us not lucky enough to live in countries like France with low cost doctor house calls and free postnatal physical therapy or Sweden where parental leave is extensive and generously paid for, we may not even know where to look or what kind of support is available in our modern culture.

However, there is a more personalized and wholistic way to approach new motherhood, beyond passing an anticlimactic six-week follow up appointment, crossing the finish line of the fourth trimester or side-stepping postpartum depression.

My offerings are a soft landing place to help bridge the gap between what is available and what new moms actually need.

I help you come back home to yourself and find your new normal even if your body still doesn’t quite feel like your own and you are coping with the physical demands of having a child. (And we can create more ease around that, too.)

Despite the abundance of methods, lifestyle brands and groups that seem to conflict with each other or criticize how you’ve been doing things, I guide you to find your way without blame, shame or guilt.

It doesn’t have to look a certain way or happen on someone else’s timeline. Every person will do this differently. That’s why there are several ways to work with me, including one on one and in groups.

Some ways that I help are:

Consultations
Coaching
Birth Story Healing Sessions
Virtual Support Groups
Wild Return New Mom & Baby Nature Cirlces
Online Courses

Let’s get started with a Free New Mom Support Plan Consultation so you can go from overwhelmed to understood.

Whether you are not sure what you need right now, want to see how we might best work together or would just like some deep listening and down-to-earth perspective, we will make good use of our time.

We’ll discuss where you are now and where you want to be, answer any questions you have and outline a plan that beats overwhelm, discontent and self-doubt.

You can also email me because you were never meant to do this alone.

If you are in the Bay Area and would benefit from facilitated deep sharing circles, time in nature, connecting with other new moms and movement through gentle hikes, then claim your spot in the next session of Wild Return.

I am passionate about postpartum support because nourished mothers are better mothers to their babies and that’s something that makes a difference for the world and generations to come. Let’s do something about this together.